Marriage in the Bible: an introduction

 

         

                                                NOTE:  All texts are from the online Hebrew - English Bible / Mechon-Mamre .                        Any RED lettering is my highlighting.

 

In the following 7 blogs, marriages as recorded in the Bible will be examined, and patterns highlighted.

 

The following patterns emerge:

1.   In the ancient world, marriage was not just the formal union of a man and woman but far more importantly, the union of two families and even clans and kingdoms.

 

2.   As such, marriages are arranged by the parents.

3. The Mesopotamian legal norms re: marriage, as recorded in the Code of Hammurabi, were carefully followed by Abraham, his brother Nachor and Isaac. Namely, only one wife, but if she is childless, a second wife (concubine) could be added and her son deemed the legal heir of the father -- even if the first, 'full wife' has a son thereafter.

This rule was relaxed somewhat in Jacob's case.  He ended up with 2 wives and 2 concubines while living in Mesopotamian Haran.

4. Under Mesopotamian law and culture, av concubine gets the status of full wives once she bears an offspring – preferably a son.

5. A concubine's son(s), is, if the father declares him "My son", is legally a full heir equal to any later son(s) by the 'first wife'.

4. Esau, living continuously in Canaan, followed local custom and married multiple wives: 3 women as co-wives.  

5. By the time of the Book of Judges, having numerous 'full wives' was accepted, as displayed by the story of Gideon's 70 'full' sons.

6. The story also reveals that by now, a concubine relationship and offspring, are no longer considered as 'equal' and 'official'. 

 

Hence the fratricide by Gideon's concubine son, Abimelech.

King Saul had one wife as queen, and a second, concubine spouse in Rizpah, who gave birth to at least 2 sons by Saul. but she and her offspring are never listed in   1 Chronicles ch. 3 'official' genealogy,

She and her offspring would have remained 'unknown' but for the fact she and her 2 sons appear in a most dramatic and tragic event.

Similarly, the concubines of King David and their offspring remain anonymous, and so too those of King Solomon.

This change from patriarch earlier times re: concubines sand their children, may well be due to the fact polygamy, i.e., having multiple 'full wives' was now the accepted norm.

 

King Solomon had, according to 1 Kings 11:3, 700 'full wives' and 300 concubines  (= 1000), all or nearly all, apparently politically motived unions; beginning with Solomon's marriage – as the text literally states - with Pharoah via a union with Pharoah's daughter (I Kings 3:1).

 

 

Conclusion

The minimalist marriages of the early patriarchs, with rare concubines as 'surrogate' child bearing spouses – with both concubine and her offspring deemed of equal status,  as per Hammurabi's Code, eventually  dissolved as multiple wives became the accepted norm.

And now concubines and their offspring become deemed "the wrong side of the bed".

 

 

Marriage in the Bible: Ancient Mesopotamian law

 

            NOTE:  All texts are from the online Hebrew - English Bible / Mechon-Mamre .                                            Any RED lettering is my highlighting.

 

Young Abraham and his entire family were Mesopotamians, originally from the ancient city of Ur (Gen. 11: 26 – 31).

As such, Abraham was steeped in Mesopotamian culture and law.       

So it is not surprising that he, his brother Nahor and even his son Isaac and Jacob thereafter, followed Mesopotamian law re: marriage.

 

Mesopotamian Law

As recorded in the Code of Hammurabi[i], Mesopotamian culture believed in monogamy: one man – one wife (See Code 138, 144).

However, a baren wife could be divorced (Code 138).

But, if the wife was unable to bear children, the law allowed for a concubine wife to be added (Code 145) – preferably the wife's handmaiden (Code 144 and 146).

If the maidservant produces a child, she is to be treated as an equal wife (Code 146)

The concubine's offspring were deemed legitimate and sons potential heirs to the father -- if the father formally declares the concubine's son(s) "My son" (Code 146, 170).

Even if the wife thereafter has a son or sons, the concubine's son or sons still get an equal share as heir(s) (Code 170).

If the father does not formally declare the concubine's son(s) as "My son", then that son(s) is disqualified from inheriting (Code 171).

But this son(s) and his mother are to be set free on the father's death (Code 171).

Lasty, Code 147 states that only if the maidservant concubine is unable to bear a child, her mistress can sell her off (without needing the husband's consent).

 

Abraham and Mesopotamian law

Abraham came to Canaan with his wife Sarah when he was 75 years old (Gen. 12:   4) and she 65 (based on calculation from Gen. 17: 17).

She was childless on arrival and stayed baren.

Then, after 10 years in Canaan, she -- as per Mesopotamian law – gave Abraham her maidservant Hagar to bear a child (Gen. 16: 3).

Abraham had sex with Hagar and she became pregnant (Gen. 16: 4).

Now Hagar, once clearly pregnant, acted haughtily towards Sarah, and Sarah confronted Abraham over this, and he 'returned' Hagar to Sarah 'to do as you wish' (Gen. 16: 5 – 6).

Sarah then mistreated Hagar so badly that she ran off, briefly (Gen.16: 6).

 

Once returned, Hagar gave birth to a son.

The newborn child is named Ishmael, by his father, Abraham, as Ishmael means "God has answered my prayers."

 

Skip forward some 15 years.

Sarah, at age 90, becomes pregnant and bears Abraham, age 100, a son (Gen. 21: 5).

Abraham names him Isaac.

The Hebrew YITZCHAK literally means "to laugh".  Here, as Gen. 21:6 explains, quoting Sarah, to rejoice.

Then, at the party to celebrate Isaac's weaning at age 2[ii], i.e., that he no longer is breast fed and is now considered entering human maturity, Sarah suddenly sees Ishmael "laughing" and tells Abraham Ishmael must be expelled, so he will not be an heir with Isaac (Gen. 21: 9- 10).

 

Reluctantly, and only after God tells him to follow Sarah's wishes, does Abraham agrees, and sends Ishmael, now age 17, and his mother, Hagar, away. (Gen 21: 11 – 14).

 

This unhappy Hagar and Ishmael story, is fairly consistent with Mesopotamian law.

1.     Abraham has only one wife, Sarah

2.     Sarah is barren and gives Abraham her handmaiden, Hagar, to provide a son to her husband, Abraham.

3.     Hagar conceives, but acts disrespectfully to Sarah – contrary to Mesopotamian cultural norms and law. Hagar only is to be treated as Sarah's 'equal' only once the offspring is born. And not before.

4.     Abraham returns Hagar to Sarah's control as Hagar (before the birth of the child) is still technically her property (in line with code 147)

 

Now the expulsion of 17 year old Ishmael and his mother, would be allowed under Mesopotamian law, if, as per Code 171, Abraham had never officially proclaimed Ishmael as "My son".

But Abraham surely did so formally as he tells God:

 

Gen. 17: 18

יח  וַיֹּאמֶר אַבְרָהָם, אֶל-הָאֱלֹהִים:  לוּ יִשְׁמָעֵאל, יִחְיֶה לְפָנֶיךָ.

18 And Abraham said unto God: 'Oh that Ishmael might live before Thee!'

 

 

But God the Eternal replies that His covenant with Abraham will be solely through the son Sarah is about to bear him, Isaac.

 

Gen. 17: 19

יט  וַיֹּאמֶר אֱלֹהִים, אֲבָל שָׂרָה אִשְׁתְּךָ יֹלֶדֶת לְךָ בֵּן, וְקָרָאתָ אֶת-שְׁמוֹ, יִצְחָק; וַהֲקִמֹתִי אֶת-בְּרִיתִי אִתּוֹ לִבְרִית עוֹלָם, לְזַרְעוֹ אַחֲרָיו.

19 And God said: 'Nay, but Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son; and thou shalt call his name Isaac; and I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant for his seed after him.

 

 

So, Ishmael's expulsion is a breach of Mesopotamian law, but one endorsed by God the Eternal.

 

**** For greater detail, see the earlier blog, "Sarah, Hagar and Ishmael".

 

 

NOTE:  When Ishmael was of age to marry, his mother, Hagar, arranged the marriage with a woman she chose for him from her native Egypt. (Gen. 21: 21)

This single wife bore Ishmael 12 sons (Gen. 25: 12 – 15, 1 Chronicles 1: 28-31).

 

 

Nahor's wives

It is noteworthy that Abraham's brother Nahor, who remained in Ur, had a similar situation: one wife plus one concubine (Gen. 22:20 -24).

A wife named Milcah and a concubine named Reumah.

As Bekhor Shor and Tur HaAroch point out, the wording of Gen. 11:20 indicates that Milcah was baren, Nahor took on a concubine named Reumah who gave him a son (4 sons in total), and thereafter Milcah became pregnant and had a son (8 in total).[iii]

Otherwise, why add the superfluous words גַם-הִוא – "she also" in verse 20 for the first wife, Milcah.[iv]

 

Gen. 22:20

כ  וַיְהִי, אַחֲרֵי הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה, וַיֻּגַּד לְאַבְרָהָם, לֵאמֹר:  הִנֵּה יָלְדָה מִלְכָּה גַם-הִוא, בָּנִים--לְנָחוֹר אָחִיךָ.	20 And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying: 'Behold, Milcah, she also hath borne children unto thy brother Nahor:
כא  אֶת-עוּץ בְּכֹרוֹ, וְאֶת-בּוּז אָחִיו, וְאֶת-קְמוּאֵל, אֲבִי אֲרָם.	21 Uz his first-born, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram;
כב  וְאֶת-כֶּשֶׂד וְאֶת-חֲזוֹ, וְאֶת-פִּלְדָּשׁ וְאֶת-יִדְלָף, וְאֵת, בְּתוּאֵל.	22 and Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel.'
כג  וּבְתוּאֵל, יָלַד אֶת-רִבְקָה; שְׁמֹנָה אֵלֶּה יָלְדָה מִלְכָּה, לְנָחוֹר אֲחִי אַבְרָהָם.	23 And Bethuel begot Rebekah; these eight did Milcah bear to Nahor, Abraham's brother.
כד  וּפִילַגְשׁוֹ, וּשְׁמָהּ רְאוּמָה; וַתֵּלֶד גַּם-הִוא אֶת-טֶבַח וְאֶת-גַּחַם, וְאֶת-תַּחַשׁ וְאֶת-מַעֲכָה.  {פ}	24 And his concubine, whose name was Reumah, she also bore Tebah, and Gaham, and Tahash, and Maacah. {P}

 

 

 

 

Isaac's marriage

The marriage between Issac and Rebecca was orchestrated by Abraham (all of Gen. Ch. 24).

It involved 2 principals:

One, that the wife also be of Mesopotamian culture.

Two, and more importantly, as per the universal norm, marriages are alliances to be arranged by parents. Youthful 'attraction' and even romantic love are to be ignored. (See ensuing blogs on marriage.)

 

Now the marriage of Isaac and Rebecca did not produce any offspring for 20 years (Gen. 25: 20 and 26).

But no handmaid concubine wife occurs.

Maybe Rebecca and Isaac remembered the ongoing hostile situation that resulted between Sarah and Hagar, and, ultimately, Abraham's pain when having to expelling 17-year-old Ishmael– once his 'first' wife Sarah finally gave birth to a son, and she insisted Ishmael and his mother be exiled – thereby disinheriting Ishmael (Gen. 21:1-12)

Avoiding Canaanite custom, Isaac did not take on a 2^nd or even 3rd wife. (As did Esau. Gen. 26:34, 28: 8-9)

 

Jacob's 4 wives

Jacob ended up with 4 spouses, and all their offspring were accepted as equal.

No signs of hostility between 'first wives' and concubines – as with Sarah and Hagar, only jealousy between first wive sisters.

 

Now having 2 'first wives' is not consistent with Hammurabi's monogamy rule, but Jacob ended up with 2 sisters due to a sneaky trick by their father Laban, who had promised Jacob his younger daughter Rachel – only to have the veil covered bride at the wedding, be Leah.   

Whatever the validity of Laban's justification – i.e., the older daughter must marry first (Gen. 29: 26-27), Jacob was so in love with Rachel that he insisted on having Rachel as a second wife (Gen. 29: 18, 27).

 

As for the 2 concubines, Rachel, unable to get pregnant, gives her handmaiden Bilhah to Jacob as a wife (Gen. 30: 1, 3-4).

Billah conceived and had a son. And as Rachel continues to be barren, Jacob again has sex with Bilhah, and she has a second son (Gen. 30:      5-7).       

Now, in the true spirit of Mesopotamian law and culture, Rachel is overjoyed for as she states:

 

GEN. 30: 3

ג  וַתֹּאמֶר, הִנֵּה אֲמָתִי בִלְהָה בֹּא אֵלֶיהָ; וְתֵלֵד, עַל-בִּרְכַּי, וְאִבָּנֶה גַם-אָנֹכִי, מִמֶּנָּה.

3 And she said: 'Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; that she may bear upon my knees, and I also may be builded up through her.'

 

Not only did Rachel see Bilhah's sons as 'her own', but it is Rachel who choses their names: names thanking God for giving her offspring!

 

So this is 100% consistent with Hammurabi's laws and intent.

 

 

Gen. 30: 6-8

ו  וַתֹּאמֶר רָחֵל, דָּנַנִּי אֱלֹהִים, וְגַם שָׁמַע בְּקֹלִי, וַיִּתֶּן-לִי בֵּן; עַל-כֵּן קָרְאָה שְׁמוֹ, דָּן.	6 And Rachel said: 'God hath judged me, and hath also heard my voice, and hath given me a son.' Therefore called she his name Dan.
ז  וַתַּהַר עוֹד--וַתֵּלֶד, בִּלְהָה שִׁפְחַת רָחֵל:  בֵּן שֵׁנִי, לְיַעֲקֹב.	7 And Bilhah Rachel's handmaid conceived again, and bore Jacob a second son.
ח  וַתֹּאמֶר רָחֵל, נַפְתּוּלֵי אֱלֹהִים נִפְתַּלְתִּי עִם-אֲחֹתִי--גַּם-יָכֹלְתִּי; וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ, נַפְתָּלִי.	8 And Rachel said: 'With mighty wrestlings have I wrestled with my sister, and have prevailed.' And she called his name Naphtali.

 

Leah, however, as she feels in competition with Rachel, and as she has stopped becoming pregnant after 4 sons (i.e., Reuben, Simon, Levi and Judah), gives Jacob her handmaiden, Zilpah, as a spouse: to bear more children – like Bilhah.

And Leah, too, is happy Zilpah produces 2 sons, and Leah names them herself with names meaning I am fortune!   

 

Gen. 30: 9 - 13

ט  וַתֵּרֶא לֵאָה, כִּי עָמְדָה מִלֶּדֶת; וַתִּקַּח אֶת-זִלְפָּה שִׁפְחָתָהּ, וַתִּתֵּן אֹתָהּ לְיַעֲקֹב לְאִשָּׁה.	9 When Leah saw that she had left off bearing, she took Zilpah her handmaid, and gave her to Jacob to wife.
י  וַתֵּלֶד, זִלְפָּה שִׁפְחַת לֵאָה--לְיַעֲקֹב בֵּן.	10 And Zilpah Leah's handmaid bore Jacob a son.
יא  וַתֹּאמֶר לֵאָה, בגד בָּא גָד; וַתִּקְרָא אֶת-שְׁמוֹ, גָּד.	11 And Leah said: 'Fortune is come!' And she called his name Gad.
יב  וַתֵּלֶד, זִלְפָּה שִׁפְחַת לֵאָה, בֵּן שֵׁנִי, לְיַעֲקֹב.	12 And Zilpah Leah's handmaid bore Jacob a second son.
יג  וַתֹּאמֶר לֵאָה--בְּאָשְׁרִי, כִּי אִשְּׁרוּנִי בָּנוֹת; וַתִּקְרָא אֶת-שְׁמוֹ, אָשֵׁר.	13 And Leah said: 'Happy am I! for the daughters will call me happy.' And she called his name Asher.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CONCLUSION

For 3 generations, Mesopotamian law and custom were strictly followed in the marital relations of Abraham, his brother Nahor and Isaac.

Jacob's 4 spouses while in Mesopotamian Haran, being a partially, unintended twist.

 

As for Esau, Jacob's twin brother, who remained and married in Canaan, Mesopotamian custom no longer applied.

His story is for a later blog.

 

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[i] All Code citations are from https://avalon.law.yale.edu/ancient/hamframe.asp

[ii] EiKhah Rabbah 1:27 states nursing lasted 24 months.

[iii] See right column Commentary at Sefaria Gen. 22:20 at https://www.sefaria.org/Genesis.22.20?lang=bi&with=Commentary%20ConnectionsList&lang2=en  The issue of why Nahor had a concubine is ignored by nearly all commentators, though Radak sees the addition of a concubine as similar to Leah giving Jacob her handmaiden as a 'wife' when she stopped having more children (Gen. 340 9) – i.e., temporary barren period.

[iv] That the same phrase also is used for Reumah's offspring, verse 24, probably means she had more sons after Milcah became productive, as Nahor did not end conjugal relations with her.

Unlike Abraham who only had Ishmael with her though they lived in the same encampment until she and Ishmael were expelled when Ishmael was 17 years old.